Slot A

That is one of those instructions that are so much easier to write than to carry out. ‘Just pop the pill down the cat’s throat’ is another one.

The Housewife’s Handbook, 

Rachel Simhon

“Insert Tab A into Slot B.”

“Where’s Slot B?”

“Is that it?”

“That’s the housing for fixing G.”

“How about that?”

“That’s where you put in the backing, I think.”

“What’s this?”

“I think it’s Panel D.”

“What do we need Panel D for?”

“I think it’s to rest Housing M on.”

“I think we have too many screws.”

“I think you’ve counted them wrong.  See, this size is Screw R and this size is Screw S.”

“Why do we need different sized screws?”

“Because this was designed in Hell.  Next time we need furniture we are getting ready assembled.”


Originally published June 7th 2014